THE ART OF BALANCING
HOW TO HANDLE SUCCESS AND FAILURES IN LIFE
Life is like a Ping Pong Ball where we keep on Dropping the ball and the ball keeps on coming back and the force with which it gets dropped the same force it comes back and as long as we are keen to hold it back the bold does not falls flat.
Similarly our career , personal life also goes through ups and downs but as long as we don't give up it always bounces back.
And Let’s face it. We all make mistakes.
Most of us know that failure is a reality of life, and at some level, we understand that it actually helps us grow. Intellectually, we even acknowledge that the greatest achievers -- past and present -- also routinely experienced colossal failures.
But still, we hate to fail. We fear it, we dread it, and when it does happen, we hold onto it. We give it power over our emotions, and sometimes we allow it to dictate our way forward (or backward). Some of us go to great lengths to avoid failure because of all the pain and shame associated with it.
Why is it so hard to let go, forgive ourselves and move on? And how can we keep failure – or the fear of it -- from derailing us?
Here are five strategies:
There was a man who failed in business at age 21; was defeated in a legislative race at age 22; failed again in business at 24; overcome the death of his fiancée at 26; had a nervous breakdown at 27; lost a congressional race at 34; lost a senatorial race at age 45; failed to become Vice President at age 47; lost a senatorial race at 49; and was elected as the President of the United States at the age of 52. This man was Abraham Lincoln. He refused to let his failures define him and fought against significant odds to achieve greatness.
Thomas Edison reportedly failed 10,000 times while he was inventing the light bulb. He was quoted as saying, "I have found 10,000 ways something won’t work. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.” The Wright brothers spent years working on failed aircraft prototypes and incorporating their learnings until they finally got it right: a plane that could get airborne and stay there.
3. Stop dwelling on it. Obsessing over your failure will not change the outcome. In fact, it will only intensify the outcome, trapping you in an emotional doom-loop that disables you from moving on. You cannot change the past, but you can shape your future. The faster you take a positive step forward, the quicker you can leave these debilitating, monopolizing thoughts behind.
Don Shula is the winningest coach in the NFL, holding the record for most career wins (including two Super Bowl victories) and the only perfect season in NFL history.
Shula had a “24-hour rule,” a policy of looking forward instead of dwelling on the past. The coach allowed himself, his staff and his players 24 hours to celebrate a victory or brood over a defeat. During those 24 hours, Shula encouraged them to feel their emotions of success or failure as deeply as they could. The next day, it was time to put it behind them and focus their energy on preparing for their next challenge. His philosophy was that if you keep your failures and victories in perspective, you’ll do better in the long run.
4. Release the need for approval of others.Often our fear of failure is rooted in our fear of being judged and losing others’ respect and esteem. We easily get influenced (and spooked) by what people say about us. Remember, this is your life, not theirs. What one person considers to be true about you is not necessary the truth about you, and if you give too much power to others’ opinions, it could douse your passion and confidence, undermining your ability to ultimately succeed.
Oprah Winfrey was fired from her first TV job because someone thought she was “unfit for TV.” Stephen King’s first book, Carrie, was rejected by 30 publishers. Walt Disney was fired from his newspaper job because he “lacked imagination and good ideas.” Winston Churchill failed sixth grade and was considered “a dolt” by his teacher. Jerry Seinfeld was booed off the stage the first time he tried comedy. Soichiro Honda was rejected by an HR manager at Toyota Motor Corporation when he applied for an engineering job, leaving him jobless until he began making scooters in his garage and eventually founded Honda Motor Company. 'Nuff said.
5. Try a new point of view. Our upbringing – as people and professionals – has given us an unhealthy attitude toward failure. One of the best things you can do is to shift your perspective and belief system away from the negative (“If I fail, it means I am stupid, weak, incapable, and am destined to fall short”) and embrace more positive associations (“If I fail, I am one step closer to succeeding; I am smarter and more savvy because the knowledge I’ve gained through this experience”).
Indeed, one can hardly find an historic or current-day success story that isn’t also a story of great failure. And if you ask those who have distinguished themselves through their achievements, they will tell you that failure was a critical enabler of their success. It was their motivator. Their teacher. A stepping stone along their path to greatness. The difference between them and the average person is that they didn’t give up.
Michael Jordan said it best: "I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
It is equally important how do we handle SUCCESS without getting too much overwhelmed . You need to let people know , do celebrate also but do not beat your trumpet , do not get so much spent that you end up into debt trap . So the tips are
1. Don’t tell everyone.
If someone should know, text them. If you wouldn’t want to text them, they aren’t important enough to know. Boasting on social media can feel well earned and fun, but there’s two sides. First, it can come off as impersonal to the friends you’d most want to share it with. Isn’t it more fun to savor it together in person? And second, if you are more moved by spite or ambition, nothing is more impressive than a boast you don’t have to make it. Let the news get to them organically- let your high-school ex hear through the grapevine about your record deal. Carry the implicit boast that you forgot to even brag about it.
Petty? Absolutely. But at least you’re keeping social media less obnoxious with your silence. If you’re going to do the right thing, you’re allowed to do it for the wrong reasons.
2. Do the things you swore you’d do if X happened. You might as well celebrate, and if you promised too much, holding true to your excessive boasts is the most fun way to learn a valuable lesson about keeping your mouth shut and moderation.
3. Remember your failures, both to humble you and excite you. Success can feel natural when it comes, and it’s important to savor it, to feel grateful and aware.
4. Remember time before your success. You were okay without it, right? Don’t let it own you. You were good without it, and, if it should flee, you’ll be good again. Success doesn’t define you. Understand that and enjoy it without a sense of worship.
5. Share it. Success can be lonely and self segregating. Spending $75 on burgers for everyone is tastier than a $75 steak alone. Don’t let numbers dictate you away from happiness, or let a bent towards pride or even statistical pursuit of more sour the true goals of success.
6. There are always going to be people who have more and those who have less. Find a way to balance those two feelings and you can combine gratitude with vision and ambition to propel you. Mangle them and you’ll end up complacent or miserable.
7. Save some success for a rainy day. Let it last and breath. Do not blow it on solid gold yachts. Do not let momentum trick you into assuming your success is permanent or ineffable. The world is strange and cruel. Plan for it.
8. Do something you always wanted to do. If you’re not going to do it now, when will you (do a road-trip, go skydiving, ask them out, etc.)
9. Indulge deeply in cheap, simple and undestructive ways. There is an impulse to GO NUTS when you’re successful, so go nuts- in a safe space and place. A strong playlist, strong friends and strong brews at home is going to be a much better way to go off than to “paint the town” with your credit card. You can buy bottle service, or you could have an equally good time for ten percent of the cost. It might be less dramatic, but it’s no less fun.
10. Savor it. This did not come cheap or easy. Do not take it for granted. Get pumped, grateful, and psyched every day for a week. This cost you a lot of effort. Enjoy it.
Comments